Crust

Uh...I just noticed some errors that are not really a big deal. First, the 'blooddrunk' thing - Shouldn't it be 'blood-drunk'? Note the dash in between. Also, the capitalization/ I see a lot of people disregarding proper capitalization and punctuation. I hope everyone will 'mind' that soon.

Also, your words are quite repetitive. I hope you can find more terms. I understand the intention that you wanted to emphasize, though. Almost everything was ok, so don't worry.

Lastly, '(iloveyou)' seemed misplaced or like it came out of nowhere, but, I understand. I think it will look better should have removed the parentheses and typed 'iloveyou' separately and with proper capitalization.

GUMMY!!! I have missed you so! We must get caught up about things!

Anyway, your poem!

I am compost waste. I am a bag of <-- This is probably me being nit-picky, but I'm not quite sure if you want to use compost because all your other metaphors point at something that is used once and then thrown away (for instance, biohazard, coffee cups (implied to me!), etc., and yet, compost is so useful because it can have things grow from it and we totally use our compost in our gardens and such. So, for me, it's hard to think of compost and waste together, simply because it isn't used that way at all, especially with the name "compost" attached.

biohazard landfill, I am a mistake <-- Again, this is probably me being a science geek, but biohazard landfills are the opposite of compost, so the two images juxtaposed with each other really don't make sense. You cannot grow anything in the biohazard landfills while compost you can grow things in. So I'm not sure which image you're going for, but you have to be consistant.

of ligaments and scars and <-- Being a mistake implies that "you" have a passive role in who you are, which the word "ligaments" implies, but "scars" seems to imply an active role which once again contradicts what you've just said.



I am the empty, flashing remains
since the creation of electrons, <-- I don't like this image, if only because I can't really picture it. Which may be me overthinking it (hey, quantum physics can screw your brain over!) but I really can't picture what you're trying to say here.

I am nothing but stringy flesh
and crusted bones. <-- I do like this image though! It actually reminds me of The Decemberists. Because The Decemberists are morbid like that. But more than that, I like the fact that this reminds me of the ligaments line much more clearly because I can see the strings of flesh (ligaments!) stretched over a decaying skeleton, and that's awesome.



This is the society that has
made cancer blooddrunk, so <-- What do you mean by "cancer blooddrunk?" I'm not quite sure why society has made it that way.

staggered and still we hunt it <-- What is "it?"
like wolves, but



what are we, but fiendish life-factories,
coffee-guzzlers and
bile-spewers? <-- I like this. It totally reminds me of factory-built humans going to Starbucks and retching out their guts. Which is not particularly a pleasant image, but it is powerful.



who are we, am i, but the pounds
we are made of, the gallons
we gulp?



I am compost waste, we are <-- Same complaint!

the largest writhing landfill in lightyears <-- I like this description a lot more than the last, actually, because it was more about waste and prodigal humans rather than biohazardous materials.

and



there is no right to say such things like <-- I read "right" as "right way." Don't know which one you prefer or even if that's better, but I thought you ought to know.





(iloveyou) <-- I don't like the parenthesis. Plus, I don't like the separation involved. It seems a little cheesy.

So yeah. Anyway! I'm glad to see you around again.